In the clear yet, good // What's Good: Oct. 27, 2023
Courthouses, the Cheesecake Factory, and the comfort of your own home.
Hello, good evening, happy Friday. Turning 30 was pretty good. The Deth’s Tar release was pretty good too. I had a very busy week, but I will be looking to have a review of the released beers posted soon. I encourage you to stream 1989 (Taylor’s Version). It is extremely good. I have had it on repeat all day.
Show trial
Listen I am really enjoying the whole “trials as theater are problematic” theme of the Fontaine arc in Genshin Impact but this is pretty fucking wild:
If you don’t want to be the traffic, you have to beat the traffic, which is why last Tuesday, I hopped in a taxi at the truly zesty time of 4:40 a.m. and headed to the Daniel Patrick Moynihan United States Courthouse in Lower Manhattan. My top basic objective? Snagging one of about 21 first come, first served seats allotted to the press and general public in the trial of crypto founder-hustler Sam Bankman-Fried, who was charged in December with misappropriating billions of dollars in customer funds from FTX, the exchange he created in 2019. And my biggest hope? To watch trader turned CEO turned government-cooperating witness Caroline Ellison testify against Bankman-Fried, her longtime on-again, off-again friendboss with benefits.
As the founder and CEO of FTX, Sam Bankman-Fried won over presidents, pop stars, and princes. On Friday, he faced his toughest audience yet: a jury of his peers.
Bankman-Fried took the stand Friday following a dry run Thursday in front of federal Judge Lewis Kaplan and attorneys on both sides of his fraud case. Kaplan barred the former billionaire from pinning several of his alleged missteps on advice from his company’s lawyers, but otherwise let him speak widely about his experience as head of the now-bankrupt crypto exchange.
Closed trial
U.S. v. Google was supposed to be the “antitrust trial of the century”—the highest-profile, and potentially the most consequential, court battle between a major tech company and the feds since the government sued Microsoft in 1998.
In 2020, the Department of Justice under President Donald Trump sued Google for paying phone manufacturers like Apple and Samsung to make Google their default search engine. Federal prosecutors say that those hefty deals allowed Google, already the dominant search engine in the United States, to further monopolize the search and search advertising industries.
I must not fear
Let the fear wash over and through you:
Chain saws roar, and spine-chilling screams echo from behind a dense wall of trees. You know you're at a scary attraction in the woods of Denmark called Dystopia Haunted House, yet everything sounds so real. As you walk into the house, you become disoriented in a dark maze filled with strange objects and broken furniture; when you turn a corner, you're confronted by bizarre scenes with evil clowns and terrifying monsters reaching out for you. Then you hear the chain saw revving up, and a masked man bursts through the wall. You scream and start running.
This might sound like the kind of place nobody would ever want to be in, but every year millions of people pay to visit haunts just like Dystopia. They crowd in during Halloween, to be sure, but show up in every other season, too. This paradox of horror's appeal—that people want to have disturbing and upsetting experiences—has long perplexed scholars. We devour tales of psychopathic killers on true crime podcasts, watch movies about horrible monsters, play games filled with ghosts and zombies, and read books that describe apocalyptic worlds packed with our worst fears.
They’ve evolved beyond concerts
Maybe the feds will start caring now that bots are affecting restaurant bookings:
To score a table at Don Angie, the Italian-American hotspot in New York’s West Village, the official course of action is to log on to restaurant booking site Resy at 9 a.m. seven days before the desired dining date. At least, that’s the policy that chef-owners Angie Rito and Scott Tacinelli have set up for potential diners.
But those who have recently tried to book those elusive seats via the reservation platform know they rarely open up.
If you head over to Appointment Trader, however, and are willing to pay up to $125 just for the opportunity to walk through the door, you can start bidding on seats for any day for the next few weeks.
Places people, places
Dating sucks but this is very funny:
If you use the internet as your guide, you’ll quickly find there’s no right place to take a first date. Earlier this year, a woman went viral on X for complaining about a Hinge date proposing a bar too close to his apartment. In 2022, a man canceled a date with a woman after she suggested meeting at Starbucks. Most recently, a much-discussed TikTok video showed a woman refusing to get out of the car when she discovered her date had taken her to the Cheesecake Factory. Needless to say, the 2023 dating scene is fraught. Jeremy Fike decided to get to the bottom of it.
People, not places
Listen there are obviously some benefits to some people working in offices. Nevertheless, this fucking rules:
The hit new video game Spider-Man 2 is set in a bustling re-creation of New York City, complete with digital versions of busy workers commuting to their offices. But many of the people who made the game were able to live out a different experience — working from their homes full-time.
You deserve some good animal content
https://twitter.com/sour269/status/1716829506051399811
https://twitter.com/ServalEveryHr/status/1718079957233021191
https://twitter.com/twaniimals/status/1718067463647060351
https://twitter.com/contextraccoons/status/1718044486842921376
https://twitter.com/twaniimals/status/1718026697495224410
https://twitter.com/weirdlilguys/status/1718019306695409911
https://twitter.com/twaniimals/status/1718017748192596101
https://twitter.com/CATBRAINCELL/status/1718015447868830145
https://twitter.com/twaniimals/status/1717975556807938157
https://twitter.com/CAPYBARA_MAN/status/1717972403081371965
Have a good weekend.
Addendums
Maine shooting rampage suspect found dead. A man from California got called out and denied after he asked for a 'scooped bagel' in NYC. Near-total internet and cellular blackout hits Gaza as Israel ramps up strikes. Everything Elon Musk Broke in the Year He’s Owned Twitter. This Billionaire Hedge Funder Is Quietly Financing Anti-Trans Advocacy Across The U.S. CEO Morning Routines Are Bananas. So I Tried a Few.